HOW A GREAT SYMPHONY WAS WRITTEN Three G's and an E-flat. Nothing more. Baby simple. Anyone might have thought of them. Maybe. Leonard Bernstein But out of them has grown the first movement of a great symphony. A movement so economical and consistent that almost every bar of it is a direct development of these opening four notes. People have wondered for years what it is that endows this musical figure with such potency. All kinds of fanciful music appreciation theories have been advanced. That it is based on the song of a bird Beethoven heard in the Vienna woods. That it is Fate knocking at the door. That it is a friend of his knocking at the door. And more of the same. But none of these interpretations tells us anything. The truth is that the real meaning lies in the notes that follow it. All the notes of all the five hundred measures that follow it. And Beethoven more than any other composer before or after him, I think, had the ability to find these exactly right notes. But even he who had that ability to such a remarkable degree had a gigantic struggle to achieve this rightness: not only the right notes, but the right rhythms, the right climaxes, the right harmonies, the right instrumentation. We are going to try to trace that struggle for you. Now all of us are familiar with the composer's struggle to find the right melodies and the right thematic material. We have all been privileged to watch Schumann and Brahms and other greats of the silver screen agonizing over the keyboard as they search for the right tune. We have all seen Jimmy Cagney as George M. Cohan dramatically alone on a bare stage with a solitary work light picking out the immortal notes of "Over There." Or Cornell Wilde as Chopin eking out the nocturne in E-flat. But spurious or not the struggle is real. Beethoven too shared in that struggle. We know from his notebooks that he wrote down fourteen versions of the melody that opens the second movement of this symphony. Fourteen versions over a period of eight years. This is the way we know it today. Now the original sketch for this goes this way. Another sketch for the same melody is quite different. After eight years of experimenting with eleven others, he ultimately combined the most interesting and graceful elements of all versions and finally arrived at the tune which is familiar to us now. But now that he has his theme, the real work begins. Now comes the job of giving symphonic meaning to the theme. And this meaning becomes clear only after we have arrived at the very last note of the entire movement. Thus the famous four notes are not in themselves susceptible of meaning in the music appreciation sense. They are really only a springboard for the symphonic continuity to come. That is the real function of what is called form: to take us on a varied and complicated half hour journey of continuous symphonic progress. In order to do this, the composer must have his own inner road map. He must have the ability to know what the next note has to be. To convey a sense of rightness, a sense that whatever note succeeds the last is the only possible note that could happen at that precise instant. As we have said, Beethoven could do this better than anyone. But he also struggled with all his force in the doing. Let's try to follow this struggle graphically. To begin with, Beethoven chose seven different instruments with which to begin his first movment: the flute, clarinet, first violin, second violin, viola, cello, and bass. These seven instruments appear on the first page of his manuscript score. But there is something crossed out: the part of the flute. So we know that Beethoven for one second was going to include the flute. So why did he cross it out? Well let's hear how it would have sounded with the flute left in. The high piping notes of the flute don't seem to fit in with the generally rude and brusque atmosphere of the opening bars. Beethoven clearly wanted these notes to be a strong masculine utterance. And he therefore orchestrated entirely with instruments that play normally in the register of the male singing voice. The flute being the instrumental equivalent of the soprano would be intruding here like a delicate lady at a club smoker. So out came the flute. And now let's hear how masculine it sounds without it. You see, a lot of us assume when we hear the symphony today that it must have spilled out of Beethoven in one steady gush, clear and right from the beginning. But not at all. Beethoven left pages and pages of discarded material in his own writing, enough to fill a whole book. The man rejected and rewrote, scratched out, tore up, and sometimes altered a passage as many as twenty times. Beethoven's manuscript looks like a bloody record of a tremendous inner battle. But before he began to write this wild looking score, Beethoven had for three years been filling notebooks with sketches, some that he ultimately discarded as not right. I have been trying to figure out what his first movement would have sounded like if he had left some of them in. I have been experimenting with the music, speculating on where these sketchkes might have been intended for use, and putting them back into those places, to see what the piece might have been had he used them. And I have come up with some curious and interesting results. Let's see what they are. We already know almost too well the opening bars of this symphony. Now once Beethoven had made this strong initial statement, what then? How does he go on to develop it? He does it like this. But here is a discarded sketch which is also a direct and immediate development of the theme. Not very good and not very bad taken all by itself. But it is a good logical development of the opening figure. But what would the music sound like if Beethoven had used this sketch as the immediate development of his theme? We can find out by simply putting the sketch back into the symphony and it will sound like this. It does make a difference, doesn't it? Not only because it sounds wrong to our ears, which are used to the version we know. But also because of the nature of the music itself. It is so symmetrical that it seems static. It doesn't seem to want to go anywhere. And that is fatal at the outset of a symphonic journey. It doesn't seem to have the mystery about it that the right version has, of that whispering promise of things to come. The sketch music on the other hand gets stuck in its own repetition. It just doesn't build. And Beethoven was first and foremost a builder. Let us look at another rejected sketch. Here is one that sounds like this. Again it is based as all of them are on that same opening figure. Now my guess is that he would have used it somewhere in this passage. Now let's hear the same passage with the discarded sketch included. Terrible, isn't it? This sketch just intrudes itself into the living flow of the music and stands there repeating, grounded, until such time as the music can again take off in its flight. No wonder Beethoven rejected it. For he of all people had a sense of drive to his music that was second to none. This sketch just doesn't drive. It is again like the first one, static and stuck. Now this sketch is different. It has real excitement and build. I suspect it was intended for a spot a little later on in the movement. Here. This is certainly one of the most climactic and thrilling moments in the movement. It is the beginning of the coda, of the last big push before the end. Let's see how it would have sounded, using the sketch I just played you. Not at all bad. It has logic and it builds. But what Beethoven finally did use has so much more logic and builds with so much more ferocity and shock that there is no comparison. The other, although good, seems pale beside it. Now here is a sketch that I really like because it sounds like the essential Beethoven style. This has pain in it and mystery and a sense of eruption. It would have fitted very neatly into the coda, harmonically, rhythmically and every other way, except emotionally. Here is the spot in the coda I mean. Now let us add the sketch to it. Do you hear the difference? What has happened? We had to come down from a high point to a low point in order to build up again dramatically to a still higher point. This is in itself good and acceptable dramatic structure. It happens all the time in plays and in novels as well as in music. But this is no moment for it. Beethoven has already reached his high point. He is already in the last lap and he wants to smash forward on that high level right to the end. And he does with astonishing brilliance. It is this genius for going forward, always forward, that in every case guides his hand in the struggle with his material. Why even the very ending was written three different ways on this orchestral score. Here is the first ending he wrote: an abrupt typically Beethovenian ending. Why did he reject it? It seems perfectly all right and satisfying. But no he apparently felt that it was too abrupt. And so he went right on and wrote a second ending that was more extended, more like a finale, more noble, romantic, majestic. It went like this. But in the manuscript this ending is also buried beneath the crossing out. Now he felt it was too long, too pretentious. Perhaps too majestic. It didn't seem to fit into the scheme of the whole movement, where the main quality is bare economical direct statement of the greatest possible force. And so he tried still a third ending and this one worked. But the odd thing is that, as it turns out, the third ending is even more abrupt than the first. So you see he had to struggle and agonize before he realized so apparently simple a thing: that the trouble with the first ending was not that it was too short but that it was not short enough. Thus he arrived at the third ending, which is as right as rain. This is how we hear it today. And so Beethoven came to the end of his symphonic journey: for one movement, that is. Imagine a whole lifetime of this struggle. Movement after movement, symphony and symphony, sonata after quartet after concerto. Always probing and rejecting in his dedication to perfection for the principle of inevitabilty. This somehow is the key to the mystery of a great artist. That for reasons unknown to him or to anyone else, that he will give away his life and his energies, just to make sure that one note follows another inevitably. But in doing so, he makes us feel at the finish that something checks throughout. Something that follows its own laws consistently. Something we can trust: that will never let us down. |
Showing posts with label Composition. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Composition. Show all posts
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Study of the Revision process; please be sure we have a CD player on Wednesday
TEN COMMANDMENTS OF GOOD WRITING (NOT REQUIRED READING, but if you're serious about learning how to write, you should read it.)
THE TEN COMMANDMENTS OF WRITING
Most1. Read; critically or casually. (Either will help.) By all means, read junk books, so long as they're well written, in standard prose. For the purpose of improving oneself, a junk book (on a movie star, for example) may not be good. But for the purpose of learning how to write (esp. for ESL students) they're as good or better than "serious" literature. Because they're page-turners; the reader wants to keep reading (and understand everything). It's a sugar-coated pill. While the reader's goal is to find out how Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie live together, the reader is nonetheless learning about basic writing style. (Movie music works the same way. The viewer likes the music because it's played during a love scene or chase scene, but soon develops a mature musical appreciation.)
2. Lower levels of generality. In other words, SHOW DON'T TELL. Use concrete, specific, and proper nouns instead of abstract, general, and common nouns; and use strong verbs instead of weak verbs.
(Not, "my brother," but, "Oscar, my brother." Not, "He loved her," but, "He kissed her madly." Not "criminals," but "juvenile delinquents" or "drug pushers," etc. Not, "He walked home drunk" but "He stumbled home drunk.")
3. Link (Coherence). Each sentence should refer back to the previous sentence, usually by synonymic replacements. Here's a simple example: (a) "Jane went to the store. Jane bought apples. Jane baked the apples at home." = (b) "Jane went to the store and [she] bought apples. She baked them at home." (a) is not coherent; (b) is coherent. The good writer must learn to do this at a higher level of organization.
4. The 5 W's + H. (Who, what, where, when, why, how.)
5. Give examples. (But don't always begin with the words, "For example"!) "Many people are hurting from the economy. Cynthia Chen, from GHYZ University, explained how she didn't have enough money to pay for her school books." (I used an example without using "for example.)
6. Use dialogue when possible: See Example in 5, plus: "'I'm behind in my studies because I was unable to buy my Geology textbook,' Cynthia said."
7. Use the Communication Triangle: who is your reader (academics? young people interested in Tom Cruise?)? What is your purpose in writing (to show that Cruise is a good actor? to entertain young people with fascinating details of Cruise's life?)? What is the best language to use for your purpos and audience: Big words borrowed from scholarly literature on cinema (to convince academics)? Spicy language (to appeal to young audiences)?
8. WHOLENESS. This includes FOCUS and COMPLETENESS. Focus means having a main idea to which other ideas are subordinated. Completeness means nothing important is left out.
9. REVISE. Back to #1. Because real revision is impossible without good models in the mind to check against. Writing is a dialogue with what's already written to make it better, based on reading it again (I've revised this brief essay many times). Here the Communication Triangle is important; one can only see weaknesses in one's text based on an imagined receiver (listener, reader).
Revision can be as simple as backspacing to replace one word with another. Or days later one realizes one needs two or three introductory paragraphs to add to what one has written. Or one needs a stronger conclusion, or more or better examples. Or sentences must be recast or deleted. Or focus changed, coherence (linking) improved, words defined or defined more clearly or replaced with better words.
10. BE SELECTIVE in using the rules. When you know the rules, you know when to break them. This comes from reading=judgment. You know when it's better to be general or not to use dialogue, or even when not to link ideas too strongly, for the sake of style, such as humor: "Aunt Agnes came. Uncle Marty came. Cousin Nancy came. Grandpa and Grandma came. I looked at my tiny Toyota and I wondered how I could drive them all to the airport at the same time!"
In the example above I purposely avoided coherence (good linking) for comic effect. This is called style.
Now let's apply these Ten Commandments to a simple example:
"The woman likes to read. The woman bought two books. She brought the books home. She put the book in her bookcase. The books were by her favorite writer."
Revised: "Cynthia Chen likes to read. She bought Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince and Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows and installed them in her bookcase. 'J. K. Rowling is my favorite writer,' she said.'"
The above brief sentence illustrates the 10 Commandments. I revised (#9); I linked ideas by replacement (#3); I wrote at lower levels of generality (named the books and the person) (#2); I used dialogue (#6); I used a strong verb ("installed" instead of "placed" or "put") (#2); I gave examples (#5); I answered the questions who (Cynthia), what (books), where (bookstore, home) (#4); I used the Communication Triangle (#7) (my audience knows the writer and author; moreover, the books are popular and mentioning them will arouse feelings in my reader; I used Cynthia Chen rather than Tom Peroni, because my reader is likely to be Chinese and my purpose was to be understood by young students in Taiwan); I was selective (#10) in applying the rules (I did not mention the name of the bookstore in this case because my main focus [#8] was on a Taiwan's student's favorite reading, not where she bought the books); finally, I mentally compared what I wrote with numerous essays and profiles I have read with satisfaction in the past and in this way was able to judge the adequacy of my own writing. Only by having tasted many good tomato sauces can the cook keep adding flavor until it matches the model in his head.
[Fwd: Suggestions for journal exercises (optional)]
-------- Original Message --------
Subject: | Suggestions for journal exercises (optional) |
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Date: | Thu, 18 Sep 2008 11:52:47 +0800 |
From: | rdca25@gmail.com |
To: |
Composition Exercises
I will not require these. But you would do well to follow these exercises. If you want me to check them, I'll be glad to.
Here are some suggestions for journal exercises:I will not require these. But you would do well to follow these exercises. If you want me to check them, I'll be glad to.
1. Direct copy of a text. "He came in." = "He came in."
Simply copying paragraphs and pages from a good piece of prose is very useful in imprinting on the mind good style or basic sentence structure.
2. Indirect dialogue as direct dialogue. "He said he was sick." = "'I'm sick,' he said." "'I'm sick,' he sighed."
3. Direct dialogue as indirect dialogue. "'I'm sick,' he said." = "He said he was sick."
Of course, you can always elaborate too: "He shot me a look of misery and lamented how sick he was."
4. Paraphrase. "He said he was sick." = "He claimed to be unwell."
5. Epitome (summary). "He said he had a fever and a cold." = "He said he was sick."
Strictly speaking epitome and summary are different. Epitome keeps the specific language of the original but takes out anything that can be sacrificed and still keep the essential point; while summary generalizes more freely. Epitome is more like condensing a 300 page novel for a weekly journal of 50 pages; summary is like what you read on the back of a book jacket that tells the reader what is the general plot and characters. Both are useful exercises; they force the reader to read a piece several times; understand it, and then find synonymic words to keep the length down.
6. Elaboration. "He said he was sick." = "He had a fever and a cold." Better: "He said he had a fever and a cold and all kinds of vague symptoms he was unable to describe, but which kept him in bed the whole time." (In principle, elaboration is unlimited. See #15)
7. Dialogue elaboration. "He was sick." = "'I am sick," he cried. 'Don't you believe me? I can't drink, I can't keep my food down, I throw up everything I eat, I sneeze constantly, my wife can't stand to be around me. She says my wheezing ruins her television shows when we watch together. Even my dog hides from me. Finally, my children are afraid they'll catch worse colds if they're in my presence.'"
8. Decombination. "The hot pepperoni pizza sizzled on the table." Make this: "The pizza was on the table. It was hot. It had pepperoni topping. It sizzled."
9. Combination.The opposite of the above: "The woman was beautiful. The woman wore earrings. The earrings were made of silver. The earrings dangled to her shoulders." Make this: "The beautiful woman wore silver earrings that dangled to her shoulders."
10. Prose paraphrase (from poetry). "Whose woods these are I think I know / His house is in the village though" (Robert Frost). = "As I journeyed through the woods, I guessed the name of the person who owned them. As it turned out, his house was in the village."
11. Poetic paraphrase (from prose). "I wondered why the English did not teach their children the language. After all, Norwegians and Greeks teach their respective languages to their children!" = "Why can't the English teach their children how to speak / Norwegians learn Norwegian, the Greeks are taught their Greek!" (My Fair Lady).
12. Variation. "I loved that song." = "That song thrilled me." "I was overwhelmed by that song." "That melody enraptured me." "If music be the food of love, play that song again." (Note, I copied the first phrase from Shakespeare; but no-one would call that plagiarism because it's a famous line and I'm clearly referring to it.)
13. Substitution (replacement).
a. Polysyllabic words by monosyllabic (one syllable) words. "That melody enraptured me." = "The tune thrilled me."
b. Monosyllabic words by polysyllabic words. "I would love to have your help." = "I would be particularly honored to receive your benevolent assistance." (The last is also known as periphrasis: that is, saying something in a long-winded way, which is sometimes a sign of bad writing.)
c. Proper nouns by noun phrases. "Bob Miller yelled at the top of his lungs, 'You're fired!'" = "The deceived hot-tempered employer yelled at the top of his lungs."
14. Imitation. "It was a cold day and I huddled underneath the only shelter in the woods." = "It was a hot evening and I cooled myself in front of the sole air conditioner in the house." Imitation need not be exact, so long as most of the sentence structure is kept.
15. Extended elaboration. "He died." = "The feeble aged man, sick now for many months, and barely clinging to life, finally, after making out his will, and croaking out maudlin farewells to his relatives, all of whom expected to be part of the old man's substantial largess when his last will and testament were read in court, reluctantly went the way of all flesh." Another kind of periphrasis, which can be bad writing unless it's used for special effect.
These are 15 ways to practice English. This kind of writing is probably better than more personal writing, because you're consciously making language choices (words, grammar, syntax) and exercising your mind. It takes effort to think of a word to replace another word, or to find another way to write a sentence: "She walked up to her apartment." "Up she walked to her apartment." By placing "up" first in the sentence it imitates the effort of walking. The English novelist, Charles Dickens, used these reversed sentence structures a lot.
Next week we'll talk more about these exercises and also developing ideas. Here's one model we talked about in class:
I keep six honest serving men;
(They taught me all I knew);
Their names are What and Why and When
And How and Where and Who.
—Rudyard Kipling
See the picture of the Communication Triangle too. In my next email I will give you next week's assignment so you don't get mixed up.
[Fwd: Composition: Cheat Sheet: This is the way a Cheat Sheet should look.]
-------- Original Message --------
Subject: | Composition: Cheat Sheet: This is the way a Cheat Sheet should look. |
---|---|
Date: | Mon, 15 Dec 2008 14:34:08 +0800 |
From: | rdca25@gmail.com |
To: | undisclosed-recipients:; |
CHEAT SHEET
This is what a Cheat Sheet should look like; its length is unlimited, depending on what you need to remind yourself. This is one example where "cheating" is to be encouraged. Each writer will have to find their own style to use in a cheat sheet. I used short-hand notation. Take #1: I know I mean "ten" as the final word of a quotation. This reminds me that after a quote, a comma follows, then the attribution ("he said"). #2 reminds me that though words are capitalized after an exclamation point (!) this is not so after a closed quote. #11 reminds me that the name of a song is in quotes but the name of an album is italicized. And so on. Of couse a cheat sheet is not useful unless you know how to generalize. For example, #10 is not useful unless I can apply that style generally to all newspapers, not just to the Times! Notice that in #32, the name of the newspaper is now written in Roman (regular) font, because the entire sentence is already in italics! Finally, for advanced writing (graduate work, publications), the student must always follow the required style manual. A FINAL CAVEAT: NEVER follow web pages. They're not reliable, unless from a reputable source, such as the New York Times or another major newspaper, and maybe not even then, because even reputable publications may follow their own style rules. Note I violate my own rule with the words, A FINAL CAVEAT. That's typography. I KNOW what I'm doing (like typing KNOW instead of know). Besides, this is perfectly okay for flashy typography; but I would never capitalize for emphasis for a publication or a formal letter. Quite simply, students must get into the habit of following rules before you can deliberately violate them.
1. ten," he said.This is what a Cheat Sheet should look like; its length is unlimited, depending on what you need to remind yourself. This is one example where "cheating" is to be encouraged. Each writer will have to find their own style to use in a cheat sheet. I used short-hand notation. Take #1: I know I mean "ten" as the final word of a quotation. This reminds me that after a quote, a comma follows, then the attribution ("he said"). #2 reminds me that though words are capitalized after an exclamation point (!) this is not so after a closed quote. #11 reminds me that the name of a song is in quotes but the name of an album is italicized. And so on. Of couse a cheat sheet is not useful unless you know how to generalize. For example, #10 is not useful unless I can apply that style generally to all newspapers, not just to the Times! Notice that in #32, the name of the newspaper is now written in Roman (regular) font, because the entire sentence is already in italics! Finally, for advanced writing (graduate work, publications), the student must always follow the required style manual. A FINAL CAVEAT: NEVER follow web pages. They're not reliable, unless from a reputable source, such as the New York Times or another major newspaper, and maybe not even then, because even reputable publications may follow their own style rules. Note I violate my own rule with the words, A FINAL CAVEAT. That's typography. I KNOW what I'm doing (like typing KNOW instead of know). Besides, this is perfectly okay for flashy typography; but I would never capitalize for emphasis for a publication or a formal letter. Quite simply, students must get into the habit of following rules before you can deliberately violate them.
2. cold!" he said.
3. "Are you cold?" he asked.
4. "Are you cold?" She didn't answer.
5. cold! He went home.
6. Moon Lake in Summer (title, centered at top of the page)
7. I read "Moon Lake in Summer," the short story.
8. I read Moon Lake in Summer, the novel.
9. I saw the movie, Moon Lake in Summer.
10. A review of the film was featured in the New York Times.
11. I love the song, "Let It Be."
12. I bought The Beatles' Let It Be album.
13. The child was three years old.
14. The three-year-old child fell asleep.
15. RIGHT: He was born on May 20, 1988. RIGHT: He was born on 20 May 1988. WRONG: He was born on May 20 1988. WRONG: He was born on May 20th, 1988.
16. I wonder where Mother is.
17. I wonder where my mother is.
18. "Bob taunted me, 'You lose the game!' and I got angry."
19. My brother was injured on Pine Street.
20. My brother was injured on the street.
21. I interviewed President Lin of Knowall University.
22. I interviewed the president of a university.
23. Comma splice: WRONG: I interviewed the president of the university, he was very polite.
RIGHT: I interviewed the president of the univeristy. He was very polite.
24. Fused sentence: WRONG: I interviewed the president of the university he was polite. RIGHT: I interviewed the president of the university. He was polite.
25. Emphasis: WRONG: It was VERY cold." RIGHT: It was very cold.
26. WRONG: The General Washington crossed the Delaware. RIGHT: General Washington crossed the Delaware.
27. RIGHT: The general, Washington, crossed the Delaware. WRONG: The general, Washington, crossed the delaware.
28. WRONG: She found him-dead. RIGHT: She found him--dead. BETTER: She found him—dead!
29. WRONG: She got sick.So she failed the class. RIGHT: She got sick. So she failed the class.
30. WRONG: I couldn't hardly wait. RIGHT: I could hardly wait.
31. He read the Taipei Times.
32. He read the Taipei Times.
33. He crossed the stream in the north of the country and dried his clothes in the hot sun. ELLIPSIS: He crossed the stream . . . and dried his clothes . . . .
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Sunday, July 4, 2010
FINAL GRADES FOR ALL CLASSES as entered into the official record (the picture design, however, is mine!)
Students,
These are your grades as they appear in the official records. You should carefully check against the grades you've already received to see if they were entered into the official record correctly. You can also check online, since these are simply copies of the online version. Only the added visual design is mine and, of course, does not appear in the official record.
These are your grades as they appear in the official records. You should carefully check against the grades you've already received to see if they were entered into the official record correctly. You can also check online, since these are simply copies of the online version. Only the added visual design is mine and, of course, does not appear in the official record.
Friday, July 2, 2010
FINAL GRADES
COMPOSITION
June 2010
I factored the two highest grades for your final grade. Only the grade of your last paper and your final grade appears here. If you see any problems you must address them PROMPTLY. As usual the grades are keyed to the final digits of your student ID.June 2010
0029,80,83
050,80,80
049,85,85
059,90,90
100,65,78
5029,70,80
041,70,83
010,95,95
130,70,75
075,80,80
372,65,75
091,60,75
077,70,80
033,75,83
106,75,93
039,70,80
Thursday, June 10, 2010
THE GRADUATE (Sample Review) (This is not intended to be a final statement of the film; it's just one way to write about the film. Besides, it's a little too long!)
The Graduate: Mike Nichols' Shallow Exercise in Style
The Graduate (Mike Nichols, 1967) was one of the most esteemed films of its time, winning Best Direction and Picture Oscars and several other nominations. It now ranks #7 on the AFI list of the 100 greatest films of all time. The theme of the failure of communication was fashionable at the time and informs the film as well as the Simon and Garfunkel song ("The Sound of Silence") used for several sequences. No one talks to anyone else or, if they do, they talk nonsense ("plastics") or misconstrue one another. Yet a closer look at the film reveals a shallow core inside a superficial stylistic wrapping.
The film narrates the story of Benjamin Braddock (Dustin Hoffman), a recent college graduate, and his adulterous affair with a family friend, called Mrs. Robinson (Anne Bancroft). The affair is complicated by Ben's romantic pursuit of Mrs. Robinson's daughter, Elaine (Katharine Ross). Structured like a fairy tale, the movie shows how the hero has to fight evil obstacles to win his chosen woman.
Much of the film's apparent distinction on first release was probably due to its obtrusive stylistic effects. These include graphic cuts, such as Benjamin diving into the pool only to end up in his bed in another scene. A sound bridge of his father calling him begins in the pool scene but ends in the bedroom scene.
The use of contemporary Folk-Rock songs as commentative music also insured the movie's popularity, especially among the young. The theme of youthful alienation (called, in Simon and Garfunkel's song, "the sound of silence") was a then fashionable theme given an Oedipal subtext in the film. For example, Mrs. Robinson's husband tells Benjamin he considers him his "son," hence, Benjamin is, symbolically, sleeping with his own mother.
In Fairy Tale fashion, Mrs. Robinson functions as a mythical Witch figure, obstructing the hero's goals until she suffers ignominious defeat at the end. Pretentiously, this defeat occurs in a church.
Christian symbolism is used but none of it resonates with the rest of the drama, which is basically a boy-girl romance packaged as a youth protest drama. Thus Benjamin uses the church cross to obstruct the pursuers. Before that he spreads his arms wide in an obvious reference to the crucified Christ.
The problem is none of these ideas is worked out in the film. They appear more as stylistic flourishes than as realistically worked out drama.
In fact almost nothing is effectively dramatized in the film. Instead the screenwriter allows the characters to tell us what should have been dramatized instead.
For example, we're told about the then contemporary Berkeley campus protests by a hostile landlord who rents Benjamin a room, but no campus protests are seen. Mrs. Robinson rather incongruously informs Benjamin she's an alcoholic, but her alcoholism is never dramatized in the film. In fact, Paul Simon's song, "Mrs. Robinson," tells us more about her alcoholism than we see in the film.
Besides, Mrs. Robinson may be the first alcoholic to announce (frivolously at that) that she's an alcoholic. Usually it takes a last-hope admission to Alcoholics Anonymous for a person to screw up the courage to call herself an alcoholic, the first step in a patient's cure.
But there are more serious problems with the film. The most critical is the lack of any clearly defined characters, much less characters we feel sympathy for.
Benjamin is such a naif and passive cipher it's difficult to use him as a model for youth or as an object of sympathy for older people. Nor is there any depth to his character. We're told nothing of his tastes, or his likes and dislikes. Not even a poster on the wall or an audiocassette reveals anything about him. Instead, in a few seconds of dialogue with Elaine in the car, we learn that he's rebelling against parents who don't understand him.
Since he has no friend in the film, one wonders if he has any identity apart from his function in the script to be seduced by an older woman. We know people by those they associate with. Since Benjamin has no associates we learn nothing of him.
Similarly, his parents are more parental stereotypes than people. The family friends, too, seem bland types that enjoy parties around a pool.
The pacing of the film is odd too. Periods of longeurs, when almost nothing happens (the film has some of the worst editing of an Oscar-winning picture), are intermitted by scenes when everything happens too quickly.
After interminable scenes of Benjamin in a pool, suddenly Ben falls in love with a girl he's known all his life. Just as suddenly she screams hysterically when she finds he's had an affair with her mother. Then, for no apparent reason, she impulsively reconciles with him.
The other major character, Mrs. Robinson, is similarly undeveloped. There's some point in this, however. She's obviously a mythic figure, the Evil Witch, and obstacle to the hero.
But a myth can inform a drama and give it depth and resonance; it's no substitute for drama. It's puzzling, for example, why Mrs. Robinson would, out of the blue, announce herself as an alcoholic (other than to save time showing this). It's also puzzling why she would be attracted to Benjamin in the first place. He's not especially desirable. (Here Hoffman is miscast; a "hunk," even an unattractive one, would have been more convincing as an object of middle-aged lust.) True, his shyness might be a temptation for one kind of woman, if we accept the mythic level of the film ("the devouring female"). But even devouring females want something to devour.
It's the devouring female, played by Anne Bancroft, who gives the film what interest it has. She manages to be both attractive and repelling at the same time, which is the essence of her character.
Dustin Hoffman's performance, on the other hand, is awkward. He gives us no sense of who Benjamin is, or of the conflicts within the character.
Hoffman isn't entirely to blame; the script left him little to work on. Suddenly Ben tells his parents he's going to marry Elaine, though she doesn't know it yet. That's supposed to be witty dialogue or character development. Nichols must have known there was nothing to the scene so he gave it a little punch by having the toaster pop up to indicate Benjamin's change from passivity to pursuit.
But apart from such stylistic flourishes, which surely appealed to contemporary critics, Nichols' direction is muddled. Nichols, then a well-known stage director, isn't sure whether he's directing a physical comedy or a dramatic comedy.
Often scenes are presented as pure physical comedy. Here again Nichols has to show off his stylistic technique, as when Benjamin asks Elaine a question before she enters a class and Nichols follows with a graphic cut on Elaine after the class is over, with Benjamin repeating the same question.
One terrible example of physical comedy is when a stream of elderly hotel patrons emerge from a revolving door while Benjamin waits patiently. A scene like this would work in a Silent Comedy (Chaplin or especially Keaton could mine it for laughs), but what's the point in a dramatic comedy? Similarly, the hotel clerk (incidentally, played by scriptwriter, Buck Henry) pounds on the hotel bell and hits Benjamin's hand instead. Instead of showing the fear and pathos of a young man's first sexual encounter, Nichols opts for silly physical business instead.
This problem is noticeable from the first sequence, when Benjamin is told by his father's friend of the future of "plastics." They each repeat the other's name twice before the conversation, such as it is, even begins.
It's not so much that the scene itself is not funny; it doesn't even fit the kind of film Nichols seems to want to make: a dramatic comedy. The timing of this scene is awful. The long pauses in the dialogue suggest a moment of great wit, but the scene ends up being silly. Still it's the clearest statement of the film's subject: a rebellion against the shallow materialism of the older generation.
Ironically, a movie intended to reveal the shallowness of contemporary culture through the eyes of youth revealed, instead, the shallowness of youth, and of a director apparently enamored of youth himself.
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Thursday, June 3, 2010
MRS. ROBINSON
MRS. ROBINSON
Simon and Garfunkel's "Mrs. Robinson" was the only song written especially for the movie, The Graduate (Mike Nichols, 1967), which won Best Picture and Direction Oscars. The other songs ("Sound of Silence" was the most famous), all by Paul Simon, had been previously released and were therefore ineligible for Oscar nods. The song makes effective use of an acoustic guitar riff and accompaniment throughout, and contrasts well with the electric guitar of the film's dominant song, "The Sound of Silence." Also unusual is the avoidance of rhyme, apart from the nonsense rhymes (wo, wo, wo, etc.), which seems to comment on the fact that the song is unrhymed (the one rhyme is on "choose/lose").
The song's most famous line is, "Where have you gone, Joe DiMaggio?" referring to the Yankee great who still holds what may be the one unbeatable baseball record: hitting successfully in 56 consecutive games. DiMaggio was also famous for his short-lived marriage to the century's most famous sex goddess, Marilyn Monroe. After her death DiMaggio ordered that fresh roses be placed on her grave daily.
"Mrs. Robinson" might have been nominated but someone forgot to submit an official nomination form in time for Oscar consideration!
Go here.
And here's to you, Mrs. Robinson
Jesus loves you more than you will know (Wo, wo, wo)
God bless you please, Mrs. Robinson,
Heaven holds a place for those who pray
(Hey, hey, hey...hey, hey, hey)
We'd like to know a little bit about you for our files
We'd like to help you learn to help yourself
Look around you, all you see are sympathetic eyes
Stroll around the grounds until you feel at home
And here's to you, Mrs. Robinson
Jesus loves you more than you will know (Wo, wo, wo)
God bless you please, Mrs. Robinson
Heaven holds a place for those who pray
(Hey, hey, hey...hey, hey, hey)
Hide it in a hiding place where no one ever goes
Put it in your pantry with your cupcakes
It's a little secret, just the Robinsons' affair
Most of all, you've got to hide it from the kids
Coo, coo, ca-choo, Mrs Robinson
Jesus loves you more than you will know (Wo, wo, wo)
God bless you please, Mrs. Robinson
Heaven holds a place for those who pray
(Hey, hey, hey...hey, hey, hey)
Sitting on a sofa on a Sunday afternoon
Going to the candidates' debate
Laugh about it, shout about it
When you've got to choose
Ev'ry way you look at it, you lose
Where have you gone, Joe DiMaggio?
A nation turns its lonely eyes to you (Woo, woo, woo)
What's that you say, Mrs. Robinson
Joltin' Joe has left and gone away
(Hey, hey, hey...hey, hey, hey)
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Sample TV Review (revised, with explanations)
"Head of the House" is an episode from the classic Honeymooners series that aired as half-hour shows in 1956. The series starred Jackie Gleason as a bus driver, Ralph Kramden, with Audrey Meadows as his wife, Alice. Art Carney co-starred as Ralph's neighbor, Ed Norton. Joyce Meadows played Ed's wife, Trixie.
In "Head," Ralph characteristically tells a news reporter he's the boss in his house. To back it up, he bets a coworker he can order Alice to cook on short notice.
When Alice refuses, Ralph and Ed scheme to cook dinner before the coworker arrives. Predictably the cooking ends in disaster, but Alice graciously allows Ralph to save face with his coworker.
Comic routines include Ralph trying to prevent Alice from seeing the newspaper interview where he's quoted as saying he's head of the house. Later Ralph accidentally sews a chicken to his blouse as he and Ed try to cook dinner in time to win the bet.
But, as in the best Honeymooners episodes, the finest comedy is in the predictable behavior of the characters, including Ralph's boasting and Alice's stoic defiance.
I made several changes because, short as the original was, I still thought it was too long, based (what else?) on the typical thumbnail review.
First I thought referring to Trixie as "less prominent" was unnecessary in a thumbnail review; it would make sense in a chapter in a book on the show, but not in a thumbnail review.
I also simplified the language in the second paragraph (compare the two versions). Apart from major editing, as in movies, there's always room to cut, cut, cut. (Notice, during the Hollywood studio system, movies averaged around 90 minutes in running time. Today they average around 2 hours and 10 or even 20 minutes. (Almost always the extra footage seems unnecessary.)
I also omitted the phase, "pretending Alice cooked it,"assuming that that was implicit anyway and I could get rid of unnecessary words, always keeping in mind my special goal of a "thumbnail" review and making it as much like a "thumbnail" as possible while still being "complete" for the purpose.
I made a major change by combining the content of two paragraphs in my first draft into one (third) paragraph in this draft. This was probably the major flaw in my first version (draft). I never liked it, but I wanted to complete at least one draft and send it off. The obvious problem was proportion, something I discuss a lot in class and in commentaries on your papers. This is a matter of judgment. It's something the advanced writer feels. The summary of the plot was just too long for a thumbnail review, which, in addition, was only part of a general evaluation of the series, The Honeymooners. One doesn't want a detailed plot summary but a mere summary, a general overview of the story, which I achieved more economically here.
Note in one instance I added a word; I normally am suspicious of adverbs and adjectives (as Mark Twain rhymed, "When in doubt, strike it out." But in this case a single adverb ("graciously") did heavy duty. It made the scene come alive in a way that merely writing "allows" would not have done. And, after all, making something come alive (a place, an event, a character, a philosophy) is a main goal of writing.
Notice, for economy I left some details implied, hoping the reader understands the omitted details, such as that the coworker has been invited to dinner that evening. Other details are unimportant, such as the fact that Ralph phones Alice and she hangs up on him. Always the writer has got to make choices as to what to include and what to leave out, and always in relation to the whole project: its length, its genre, its purpose, its intended readers, etc. Obviously in a volume dedicated to commentary on each Honeymooners episode I would have to be more elaborate, including quoting dialogue, describing scenes at some length, etc.
The final two paragraphs were also revised, with better results.
In the first case I made two sentences of what was one sentence in the first draft. But notice how a simple transition word ("Later") made for a smooth transition between the two comic incidents I related. Without that word it would have been awkward linking the two incidents, at least with simplicity.
In the final paragraph I refined the language.
For ease of reference (comparison) the original version is below:
"Head of the House" is an episode from the classic Honeymooners series that aired as half-hour shows in 1956. The series starred Jackie Gleason as a bus driver, Ralph Kramden, with Audrey Meadows as his wife, Alice. Art Carney co-starred as Ralph's neighbor, Ed Norton. Less prominent in the series was Joyce Meadows as Ed's wife, Trixie.
In "Head," Ralph characteristically tells a news reporter he's the boss in his house. To back it up, he bets a coworker he can order Alice to cook a meal on short notice.
When Alice refuses, Ralph and Ed scheme to cook a dinner before the coworker arrives, pretending Alice has cooked it. Predictably the cooking ends in disaster.
When Alice arrives home she helps Ralph save face, telling the coworker she didn't have time to cook. In typical Honeymooners style Ralph embraces Alice, having learned another lesson in spousal respect.
Comic routines include Ralph trying to prevent Alice from seeing the newspaper interview where he's quoted as saying he's head of the house and Ralph and Ed trying to cook dinner, with Ralph accidentally sewing the chicken to his blouse.
But, as in the best Honeymooners episodes, the finest comedy is in the predictable behavior of the characters, including Ralph's boasting and Alice stoically standing her ground.
Sample TV Review
"Head of the House" is an episode from the classic Honeymooners series that aired as half-hour shows in 1956. The series starred Jackie Gleason as a bus driver, Ralph Kramden, with Audrey Meadows as his wife, Alice. Art Carney co-starred as Ralph's neighbor, Ed Norton. Less prominent in the series was Joyce Meadows as Ed's wife, Trixie.
In "Head," Ralph characteristically tells a news reporter he's the boss in his house. To back it up, he bets a coworker he can order Alice to cook a meal on short notice.
When Alice refuses, Ralph and Ed scheme to cook a dinner before the coworker arrives, pretending Alice has cooked it. Predictably the cooking ends in disaster.
When Alice arrives home she helps Ralph save face, telling the coworker she didn't have time to cook. In typical Honeymooners style Ralph embraces Alice, having learned another lesson in spousal respect.
Comic routines include Ralph trying to prevent Alice from seeing the newspaper interview where he's quoted as saying he's head of the house and Ralph and Ed trying to cook dinner, with Ralph accidentally sewing the chicken to his blouse.
But, as in the best Honeymooners episodes, the finest comedy is in the predictable behavior of the characters, including Ralph's boasting and Alice stoically standing her ground.
In "Head," Ralph characteristically tells a news reporter he's the boss in his house. To back it up, he bets a coworker he can order Alice to cook a meal on short notice.
When Alice refuses, Ralph and Ed scheme to cook a dinner before the coworker arrives, pretending Alice has cooked it. Predictably the cooking ends in disaster.
When Alice arrives home she helps Ralph save face, telling the coworker she didn't have time to cook. In typical Honeymooners style Ralph embraces Alice, having learned another lesson in spousal respect.
Comic routines include Ralph trying to prevent Alice from seeing the newspaper interview where he's quoted as saying he's head of the house and Ralph and Ed trying to cook dinner, with Ralph accidentally sewing the chicken to his blouse.
But, as in the best Honeymooners episodes, the finest comedy is in the predictable behavior of the characters, including Ralph's boasting and Alice stoically standing her ground.
Sunday, May 30, 2010
2nd paper grades
Second Essay Grades
Keyed to final digits of Student ID
Keyed to final digits of Student ID
0029,85
050,80
049,80
059,85
100,90
5029,85
041,80
010,95
130,80
075,80
372,80
091,80
077,85
033,85
106,95
039,90
050,80
049,80
059,85
100,90
5029,85
041,80
010,95
130,80
075,80
372,80
091,80
077,85
033,85
106,95
039,90
Thursday, May 13, 2010
COLLOCATION dictionary
Students,
Here's the cover of the collocation dictionary I spoke of.
The sample page is turned to "restaurant" and you can see how the page shows a strings of words including "restaurant": "intimate restaurant," etc. or other grammatical units that go with restaurant.
You can check other words on that page too (restore, etc.).
Here's the cover of the collocation dictionary I spoke of.
The sample page is turned to "restaurant" and you can see how the page shows a strings of words including "restaurant": "intimate restaurant," etc. or other grammatical units that go with restaurant.
You can check other words on that page too (restore, etc.).
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Prepare for your next writing assignment and be sure to hand in HARD COPIES of your music review by next class, properly typed, of course
Students,
For your next assignment you will write a restaurant review. Usually we "brain storm" in class the first thing. But this time we didn't have the time. So you have to brain storm yourselves. By next class certainly you should have a restaurant picked out and have already thought of what to include in a restaurant review. To do this of course you must download restaurant reviews and analyze them. That will be part of your assignment due next class session, the Thursday after next. Remember the 5 W's and H. Remember the "Topics" or "Commonplaces" (Definition, etc.). Remember the W/R dialogue (what do you as an average reader want to know or feel is lacking in draft version of your review?). Remember the P/S (problem/solution) Q/A (question/answer) models, though in this case I think the latter two will not help much.
Then don't forget, too, the COMMUNICATION TRIANGLE. Never forget this except at your peril. If you treat it gingerly, as a mere homework assignment, it's useless; but if you take it seriously it's very productive. What do you want to communicate to the reader of your restaurant review. (Don't just do it as a homework assignment to show the teacher that you followed instructions in handing it in on time, etc. You've got to have excitement, like there's something you wish to communicate: hate the food, love the surroundings, etc.)
Who is your READER? (The average consumer, of course, whom you have to convince to go or not to go eat there.)
What is your PURPOSE in writing this review? (Excitement again; in both senses of that word: you're excited and you wish to excite someone about SOMETHING. That's your purpose.)
TEXT? This involves several issues. Style, for one. To convince, you have to do so with style, the medium of your ideas. Simple words. Sophisticated words. Fancy words. Clever words. Balanced sentences: "Go there for a fine evening out. Go there, though the prices are steep." Alternation of long and shot sentences. Some technical jargon, of course. Menu. Soup du jour. Apertif. Seating. A la carte. Wine list. Imported wines.
Like a painting, every writing assignment is unique. Therefore the painter collects different brushes for an outdoor scene in bright colors than for an indoor scene in gray shades. Therefore the writer collects special words for each assignment. ESL students have to search for a vocabulary. But be sure you use the words correctly. Don't just take words without knowing their proper use. Then they belong to you.
Begin with this paradigm question, related to models already discussed in class (H's, etc.). What is it the average reader who wants to dine out wishes to know about a restaurant in your review. When you answer all those questions, you're halfway home.
Don't forget, too, advice I gave about speaking at least some parts of your review into a recorder. Somehow ESL students speak better (more coherently) than they write. Like sane people who go wild behind the wheel of a car ("road hogs"), some ESL students change when they write.
Remember too, I don't want length. Length is important for A FIRST DRAFT, but not for the draft you hand in, even though that's the first draft to your teacher. I want to see some better student editing before I get the review for the first time.
Without exception all of your so-called four and five paragraph CD reviews could have been better written, edited, revised as 2-3 paragraphs.
Good luck.
By next class you should come prepared to discuss at least one (perhaps two) restaurant reviews, printed up. (DO NOT RISK PUTTING IT ON DISK UNLESS YOU'RE 100% CERTAIN YOU CAN PLAY THE DISK. NO EXCUSES. OTHERWISE USE MORE CERTAIN METHODS, SUCH AS PUTTING IT ON A WEB SITE YOU CAN ACCESS.)
The class should also be percolating with ideas for what to put in a restaurant review, since you've had 2 weeks to think about it.
Finally, you should certainly have at least chosen a restaurant and discussed with the owner or cook that you need to review it. However, since this is NOT A PROFILE, you need not speak to the restaurant owner or cook except, if you choose, to get some technical information, like how a dish is prepared, etc.
At the same time, remember FOCUS. You've got to include all this information coherently, without losing focus, which often means selectively, both in terms of content and style (a lot can be said in even a short parenthesis if the writer is skilled enough).
For your next assignment you will write a restaurant review. Usually we "brain storm" in class the first thing. But this time we didn't have the time. So you have to brain storm yourselves. By next class certainly you should have a restaurant picked out and have already thought of what to include in a restaurant review. To do this of course you must download restaurant reviews and analyze them. That will be part of your assignment due next class session, the Thursday after next. Remember the 5 W's and H. Remember the "Topics" or "Commonplaces" (Definition, etc.). Remember the W/R dialogue (what do you as an average reader want to know or feel is lacking in draft version of your review?). Remember the P/S (problem/solution) Q/A (question/answer) models, though in this case I think the latter two will not help much.
Then don't forget, too, the COMMUNICATION TRIANGLE. Never forget this except at your peril. If you treat it gingerly, as a mere homework assignment, it's useless; but if you take it seriously it's very productive. What do you want to communicate to the reader of your restaurant review. (Don't just do it as a homework assignment to show the teacher that you followed instructions in handing it in on time, etc. You've got to have excitement, like there's something you wish to communicate: hate the food, love the surroundings, etc.)
Who is your READER? (The average consumer, of course, whom you have to convince to go or not to go eat there.)
What is your PURPOSE in writing this review? (Excitement again; in both senses of that word: you're excited and you wish to excite someone about SOMETHING. That's your purpose.)
TEXT? This involves several issues. Style, for one. To convince, you have to do so with style, the medium of your ideas. Simple words. Sophisticated words. Fancy words. Clever words. Balanced sentences: "Go there for a fine evening out. Go there, though the prices are steep." Alternation of long and shot sentences. Some technical jargon, of course. Menu. Soup du jour. Apertif. Seating. A la carte. Wine list. Imported wines.
Like a painting, every writing assignment is unique. Therefore the painter collects different brushes for an outdoor scene in bright colors than for an indoor scene in gray shades. Therefore the writer collects special words for each assignment. ESL students have to search for a vocabulary. But be sure you use the words correctly. Don't just take words without knowing their proper use. Then they belong to you.
Begin with this paradigm question, related to models already discussed in class (H's, etc.). What is it the average reader who wants to dine out wishes to know about a restaurant in your review. When you answer all those questions, you're halfway home.
Don't forget, too, advice I gave about speaking at least some parts of your review into a recorder. Somehow ESL students speak better (more coherently) than they write. Like sane people who go wild behind the wheel of a car ("road hogs"), some ESL students change when they write.
Remember too, I don't want length. Length is important for A FIRST DRAFT, but not for the draft you hand in, even though that's the first draft to your teacher. I want to see some better student editing before I get the review for the first time.
Without exception all of your so-called four and five paragraph CD reviews could have been better written, edited, revised as 2-3 paragraphs.
Good luck.
By next class you should come prepared to discuss at least one (perhaps two) restaurant reviews, printed up. (DO NOT RISK PUTTING IT ON DISK UNLESS YOU'RE 100% CERTAIN YOU CAN PLAY THE DISK. NO EXCUSES. OTHERWISE USE MORE CERTAIN METHODS, SUCH AS PUTTING IT ON A WEB SITE YOU CAN ACCESS.)
The class should also be percolating with ideas for what to put in a restaurant review, since you've had 2 weeks to think about it.
Finally, you should certainly have at least chosen a restaurant and discussed with the owner or cook that you need to review it. However, since this is NOT A PROFILE, you need not speak to the restaurant owner or cook except, if you choose, to get some technical information, like how a dish is prepared, etc.
At the same time, remember FOCUS. You've got to include all this information coherently, without losing focus, which often means selectively, both in terms of content and style (a lot can be said in even a short parenthesis if the writer is skilled enough).
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Study of the Revision process; please BE SURE to bring this on Wednesday
HOW A GREAT SYMPHONY WAS WRITTEN Three G's and an E-flat. Nothing more. Baby simple. Anyone might have thought of them. Maybe. Leonard Bernstein But out of them has grown the first movement of a great symphony. A movement so economical and consistent that almost every bar of it is a direct development of these opening four notes. People have wondered for years what it is that endows this musical figure with such potency. All kinds of fanciful music appreciation theories have been advanced. That it is based on the song of a bird Beethoven heard in the Vienna woods. That it is Fate knocking at the door. That it is a friend of his knocking at the door. And more of the same. But none of these interpretations tells us anything. The truth is that the real meaning lies in the notes that follow it. All the notes of all the five hundred measures that follow it. And Beethoven more than any other composer before or after him, I think, had the ability to find these exactly right notes. But even he who had that ability to such a remarkable degree had a gigantic struggle to achieve this rightness: not only the right notes, but the right rhythms, the right climaxes, the right harmonies, the right instrumentation. We are going to try to trace that struggle for you. Now all of us are familiar with the composer's struggle to find the right melodies and the right thematic material. We have all been privileged to watch Schumann and Brahms and other greats of the silver screen agonizing over the keyboard as they search for the right tune. We have all seen Jimmy Cagney as George M. Cohan dramatically alone on a bare stage with a solitary work light picking out the immortal notes of "Over There." Or Cornell Wilde as Chopin eking out the nocturne in E-flat. But spurious or not the struggle is real. Beethoven too shared in that struggle. We know from his notebooks that he wrote down fourteen versions of the melody that opens the second movement of this symphony. Fourteen versions over a period of eight years. This is the way we know it today. Now the original sketch for this goes this way. Another sketch for the same melody is quite different. After eight years of experimenting with eleven others, he ultimately combined the most interesting and graceful elements of all versions and finally arrived at the tune which is familiar to us now. But now that he has his theme, the real work begins. Now comes the job of giving symphonic meaning to the theme. And this meaning becomes clear only after we have arrived at the very last note of the entire movement. Thus the famous four notes are not in themselves susceptible of meaning in the music appreciation sense. They are really only a springboard for the symphonic continuity to come. That is the real function of what is called form: to take us on a varied and complicated half hour journey of continuous symphonic progress. In order to do this, the composer must have his own inner road map. He must have the ability to know what the next note has to be. To convey a sense of rightness, a sense that whatever note succeeds the last is the only possible note that could happen at that precise instant. As we have said, Beethoven could do this better than anyone. But he also struggled with all his force in the doing. Let's try to follow this struggle graphically. To begin with, Beethoven chose seven different instruments with which to begin his first movment: the flute, clarinet, first violin, second violin, viola, cello, and bass. These seven instruments appear on the first page of his manuscript score. But there is something crossed out: the part of the flute. So we know that Beethoven for one second was going to include the flute. So why did he cross it out? Well let's hear how it would have sounded with the flute left in. The high piping notes of the flute don't seem to fit in with the generally rude and brusque atmosphere of the opening bars. Beethoven clearly wanted these notes to be a strong masculine utterance. And he therefore orchestrated entirely with instruments that play normally in the register of the male singing voice. The flute being the instrumental equivalent of the soprano would be intruding here like a delicate lady at a club smoker. So out came the flute. And now let's hear how masculine it sounds without it. You see, a lot of us assume when we hear the symphony today that it must have spilled out of Beethoven in one steady gush, clear and right from the beginning. But not at all. Beethoven left pages and pages of discarded material in his own writing, enough to fill a whole book. The man rejected and rewrote, scratched out, tore up, and sometimes altered a passage as many as twenty times. Beethoven's manuscript looks like a bloody record of a tremendous inner battle. But before he began to write this wild looking score, Beethoven had for three years been filling notebooks with sketches, some that he ultimately discarded as not right. I have been trying to figure out what his first movement would have sounded like if he had left some of them in. I have been experimenting with the music, speculating on where these sketchkes might have been intended for use, and putting them back into those places, to see what the piece might have been had he used them. And I have come up with some curious and interesting results. Let's see what they are. We already know almost too well the opening bars of this symphony. Now once Beethoven had made this strong initial statement, what then? How does he go on to develop it? He does it like this. But here is a discarded sketch which is also a direct and immediate development of the theme. Not very good and not very bad taken all by itself. But it is a good logical development of the opening figure. But what would the music sound like if Beethoven had used this sketch as the immediate development of his theme? We can find out by simply putting the sketch back into the symphony and it will sound like this. It does make a difference, doesn't it? Not only because it sounds wrong to our ears, which are used to the version we know. But also because of the nature of the music itself. It is so symmetrical that it seems static. It doesn't seem to want to go anywhere. And that is fatal at the outset of a symphonic journey. It doesn't seem to have the mystery about it that the right version has, of that whispering promise of things to come. The sketch music on the other hand gets stuck in its own repetition. It just doesn't build. And Beethoven was first and foremost a builder. Let us look at another rejected sketch. Here is one that sounds like this. Again it is based as all of them are on that same opening figure. Now my guess is that he would have used it somewhere in this passage. Now let's hear the same passage with the discarded sketch included. Terrible, isn't it? This sketch just intrudes itself into the living flow of the music and stands there repeating, grounded, until such time as the music can again take off in its flight. No wonder Beethoven rejected it. For he of all people had a sense of drive to his music that was second to none. This sketch just doesn't drive. It is again like the first one, static and stuck. Now this sketch is different. It has real excitement and build. I suspect it was intended for a spot a little later on in the movement. Here. This is certainly one of the most climactic and thrilling moments in the movement. It is the beginning of the coda, of the last big push before the end. Let's see how it would have sounded, using the sketch I just played you. Not at all bad. It has logic and it builds. But what Beethoven finally did use has so much more logic and builds with so much more ferocity and shock that there is no comparison. The other, although good, seems pale beside it. Now here is a sketch that I really like because it sounds like the essential Beethoven style. This has pain in it and mystery and a sense of eruption. It would have fitted very neatly into the coda, harmonically, rhythmically and every other way, except emotionally. Here is the spot in the coda I mean. Now let us add the sketch to it. Do you hear the difference? What has happened? We had to come down from a high point to a low point in order to build up again dramatically to a still higher point. This is in itself good and acceptable dramatic structure. It happens all the time in plays and in novels as well as in music. But this is no moment for it. Beethoven has already reached his high point. He is already in the last lap and he wants to smash forward on that high level right to the end. And he does with astonishing brilliance. It is this genius for going forward, always forward, that in every case guides his hand in the struggle with his material. Why even the very ending was written three different ways on this orchestral score. Here is the first ending he wrote: an abrupt typically Beethovenian ending. Why did he reject it? It seems perfectly all right and satisfying. But no he apparently felt that it was too abrupt. And so he went right on and wrote a second ending that was more extended, more like a finale, more noble, romantic, majestic. It went like this. But in the manuscript this ending is also buried beneath the crossing out. Now he felt it was too long, too pretentious. Perhaps too majestic. It didn't seem to fit into the scheme of the whole movement, where the main quality is bare economical direct statement of the greatest possible force. And so he tried still a third ending and this one worked. But the odd thing is that, as it turns out, the third ending is even more abrupt than the first. So you see he had to struggle and agonize before he realized so apparently simple a thing: that the trouble with the first ending was not that it was too short but that it was not short enough. Thus he arrived at the third ending, which is as right as rain. This is how we hear it today. And so Beethoven came to the end of his symphonic journey: for one movement, that is. Imagine a whole lifetime of this struggle. Movement after movement, symphony and symphony, sonata after quartet after concerto. Always probing and rejecting in his dedication to perfection for the principle of inevitabilty. This somehow is the key to the mystery of a great artist. That for reasons unknown to him or to anyone else, that he will give away his life and his energies, just to make sure that one note follows another inevitably. But in doing so, he makes us feel at the finish that something checks throughout. Something that follows its own laws consistently. Something we can trust: that will never let us down. |
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Learning from Reading
Learning from Reading
This is an item on a fashion designer who just won first prize in the Avant-Garde category in New York. I use this brief item to show how much vocabulary and knowledge of collocations one can learn from reading even a short article. Though grammar books, dictionaries, and rules, not to mention sitting in class, obviously help, they are no substitute for habitual reading in the target language (or listening, if your goal is oral fluency). No dictionary, for example, will teach you collocated words (that is, words that belong together topically or idiomatically the way even this short item can do. Below are all the words that one uses in discussing fashion design, art, and award shows. Moreover, many collocations apply to other areas too ("emerging talent," "creative patterns," "award ceremony," "serve as," "stepping stone," etc. Consider:1. "I was late for the award ceremony on my graduation night."
2. "I hope my degree will be a stepping stone in finding a job."
3. "At the beach, my child made creative patterns in the sand."
4. "That ticket will serve as a reminder not to pass a red light again.
Now an ESL student might get stuck at any one of these collocated phrases, wondering, for example, how to find words for the time when they give out awards (not being able to think of "ceremony"), so we get an awkward construction such as, "award time," instead of "ceremony" or "presentations."
Or an ESL student would get stuck and use a simple word ("be") instead of "serve" in the sentence, "I hope it will be a stepping stone." (One is a weak verb, therefore uninteresting, "serve" is stronger.)
Or (one final example), an ESL student would probably write "I hope my degree will help me find a job" (which is a good oral construction but not strong enough for writing, compared to "be a stepping stone").
None of these words or phrases are complex. It's putting them together properly (in strings and by topics) that is difficult for ESL students. Bad choices may range from poor writing to weak writing. "Modern" instead of "avant-garde" may not make your writing poor but it would make it weak (less colorful or specific).
In sum, there is no substitute for habitual reading.
1. avant-garde
2. top prize (as distinct from first prize). (Remember our new phrase, "salary cap," as distinct from "ceiling").
3. emerging talent
4. creative patterns
5. award ceremony
6. "thrilled to bits"
7. serve as
8. stepping stone
9. to access (the global fashion market)
10. having his own brand
11. investment partners
12. pursuing my interests
(Note also synonymic replacement for Ku in the final paragraph, as "the 30-year-old." Note also how compound adjectives before the noun are separated by hyphens. There is, however, a typo in the second paragraph, where "won award" should be "won the award.")
SOFTLY, AS IN A MORNING SUNRISE
SOFTLY, AS IN A MORNING SUNRISE
This song is famous for a solecism, also called a pleonasm (redundancy), since a sunrise can only occur in the morning and a sunset in the evening. Pleonasms can function as intensives, as in "I saw it with my own eyes!" There used to be an insecticide commercial that advertised its product's effectiveness against insects by boasting, "It kills them DEAD!" as if there was any other way to kill. A wife who boasted she killed her husband dead would not only be guilty of murder but also of a solecism.The song is from the 1928 operetta, The New Moon, with music by Sigmund Romberg and lyrics by Oscar Hammerstein II. Hammerstein later became even more famous as part of the celebrated Broadway show team, Rodgers and Hammerstein, who wrote legendary shows, including Oklahoma!, South Pacific, Carousel, The Sound of Music, The Flower Drum Song, and The King and I.
Included here are two different interpretations of the song. The first is in typical operetta style, sung by Mario Lanza, the most famous of pop tenors. Born in Philadelphia of Italian-Spanish parents, Alfredo Cocozza took his mother's maiden name, Maria Lanza, regendered it, and the rest is history.
Lanza might have become a great opera singer but chose the more lucrative field of Hollywood and pop records instead. His hit, "Be My Love" (1951) became the first million-selling classical hit for RCA Records. Films followed, including The Great Caruso, until a temperamental conflict with MGM, which resulted in Lanza quitting production of the filmed operetta, The Student Prince after recording the songs for the film. The studio sued him but the suit was settled when Lanza allowed his recordings of the songs to be dubbed in the film (another actor was used), and the soundtrack became enormously popular. But Lanza didn't make another film for four years and a few years later, in 1959, he died of a heart attack while filming in Rome, 39 years old.
The classical song, whether operetta or musical, was divided into three parts: a verse, chorus and release (the middle part of the chorus, also called the bridge: "For the passions that thrill love . . . so ends each story"). Lanza sings the entire song, including verse (below). But in the other performance, by pop singer, Bobby Darin, the verse is dropped, a custom among many pop singers, especially in the Rock 'n' Roll era, due to the constraints of radio air time (to attract sponsors, stations needed as many commercial breaks as possible, so longer records were frowned upon; hence the verse was usually dropped).
In these two recordings, one by a pop tenor, the other by a pop singer, one can study how a song can be interpreted in widely different ways. Darin uses a big band style of arrangement and his phrasing is borrowed from big band singers, while Lanza's recording is in the tradition of operetta, with some pop phrasing and intonation.
[verse]:
LOVE CAME TO ME,
GAY AND TENDER,
LOVE CAME TO ME,
SWEET SURRENDER;
LOVE CAME TO ME
IN BRIGHT ROMANTIC SPLENDOR.
FICKLE WAS SHE,
FAITHFUL NEVER;
FICKLE WAS SHE
AND CLEVER,
SO WILL IT BE FOREVER,
FOREVER,
[Chorus]:
SOFTLY, AS IN A MORNING SUNRISE,
THE LIGHT OF LOVE COMES STEALING
INTO A NEW BORN DAY, OH!
FLAMING
WITH ALL THE GLOW OF SUNRISE,
A BURNING KISS IS SEALING
THE VOW THAT ALL WILL BETRAY.
FOR THE PASSIONS
THAT THRILL LOVE
AND LIFT YOU
HIGH TO HEAVEN,
ARE THE PASSIONS
THAT KILL LOVE
AND LET YOU FALL TO HELL!SO ENDS EACH STORY.
SOFTLY, AS IN AN EVENING SUNSET,
THE LIGHT THAT GAVE YOU GLORY
WILL TAKE IT ALL AWAY!
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